Hello Family & Friends!
Just a quick update :) Things have been going well here, A is building his business and it's going well. He launched a groupon that was very well received so he's been pretty busy in the salon lately. I have started booking make up clients again - took a little hiatus to recover from the craziness of the holidays and to continue recovering from the car accident we were in (my back is still messed up from it, but at least I can now push a stroller at work and go on 40 minute walks... only took a bit over a month to get cleared for that....). I put in an application at MAC for a freelance artist and am waiting to hear back from them, but the manager has pretty much made it sound like I have it. Other than that, we're in the process of looking for a new apartment and am thankful God for the blessings He has graciously given us here in Arizona!
We hope you're all doing well!
All our love,
S
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Tucson & blessings!
Hello Family & Friends!!
This past weekend we were blessed to be able to go to Tucson for a few days with Tony's parents and visit his grandparents where we.....
[[not the best photo]]
This past weekend we were blessed to be able to go to Tucson for a few days with Tony's parents and visit his grandparents where we.....
went to this really yummy lunch place and I ordered this:
and had trouble getting half of it in my mouth -
eh - it seemed like a good idea at the time!
And we went mini golfing! [check off 1 more state on my mini-golf goal list!]
We also stopped on the side of the road and bought raw honey from a lady. It's Raw "Desert" Honey - which means it came from a cactus. It's pretty delicious!
And then we came home to this:
[[ it's our bunny! ]]
and the aftermath of the Groupon launch for A's business and he now has FULL books for awhile. God has blessed us so much in our short time here and we are so grateful for that! So please, rejoice with us & praise God for the work He is doing! We are excited to see what God has in store for us this year! We know that we will be moving at least 1 more time this year [next month], I have a MAC interview/audition coming up, and that A's business is growing - all amazing things! All glory and praise go to God!
Moral Law vs. Ceremonial Law
Came across this in past writings today. It is by no means entirely extensive; I think there's a lot more that could have been said - but it will have to suffice.
This question, although I suspect it was made more as a joke than anything else, popped up.
"I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?"
Exodus 35:2 says, "Six days work shall be done, but on the seventh day you shall have a Sabbath of solemn rest, holy to the LORD. Whoever does any work on it shall be put to death."
So...I couldn't just let this go.
There are two different types of law in the bible. Moral and Ceremonial. Moral law consists of things such as do not murder, do not commit adultery, etc... all things relating to morals. The moral law is an expression of God’s character; it is the standard of all righteousness, an expression of His will. And since we are created in God's image, it's His will for us.
The ceremonial or provisional law was added because of the transgression of the moral law. The ceremonial law consisted of ordinances, ceremonies and sacrifices in the sanctuary system that pointed to the future redemption through Jesus Christ. After Christ's death, the ceremonial law is no longer to be observed because Christ took on the punishment (God's wrath) for our transgressions when He was crucified. Therefore "by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. 15He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him. 16Therefore let no one pass judgment on you in questions of food and drink, or with regard to a festival or a new moon or a Sabbath. 17These are a shadow of the things to come, but the substance belongs to Christ. (Colossians 2:14-17). The laws consisting in ordinances, typifying Christ’s death was the one nailed on the cross, "by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace," (Ephesians 2:15). " 1For since the law has but a shadow of the good things to come instead of the true form of these realities, it can never, by the same sacrifices that are continually offered every year, make perfect those who draw near." (Hebrews 10:1).
"'The day will come,' says the Lord, 'when I will make a new covenant with the people of Israel and Judah. . . . But this is the new covenant I will make with the people of Israel on that day,' says the Lord. 'I will put my law in their minds, and I will write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people'" (Jeremiah 31:31, 33). Jesus Christ came to fulfill the law of Moses (Matthew 5:17) and create a new covenant between God and His people. The old covenant was written in stone, but the new covenant is written on our hearts, made possible only by faith in Christ, who shed His own blood to atone for the sins of the world. Luke 22:20 says, "After supper, [Jesus] took another cup of wine and said, 'This wine is the token of God's new covenant to save you – an agreement sealed with the blood I will pour out for you.'"... See More
Now that we are under the new covenant, we are not under the penalty of the law. We are now given the opportunity to receive salvation as a free gift (Ephesians 2:8-9 "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast."). Through the life-giving Holy Spirit who lives in all believers (Romans 8:9-11 "You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you"), we can now share in the inheritance of Christ and enjoy a permanent, unbroken relationship with God. Hebrews 9:15 declares, “Therefore he is the mediator of a new covenant, so that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance, since a death has occurred that redeems them from the transgressions committed under the first covenant."
So, no. The ceremonial laws established in the Old Testament, do not apply today, as Christ has established the New Covenant with His blood that was poured out on the Cross in order to cover the sins of God's children today.
So...I couldn't just let this go.
There are two different types of law in the bible. Moral and Ceremonial. Moral law consists of things such as do not murder, do not commit adultery, etc... all things relating to morals. The moral law is an expression of God’s character; it is the standard of all righteousness, an expression of His will. And since we are created in God's image, it's His will for us.
The ceremonial or provisional law was added because of the transgression of the moral law. The ceremonial law consisted of ordinances, ceremonies and sacrifices in the sanctuary system that pointed to the future redemption through Jesus Christ. After Christ's death, the ceremonial law is no longer to be observed because Christ took on the punishment (God's wrath) for our transgressions when He was crucified. Therefore "by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. 15He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him. 16Therefore let no one pass judgment on you in questions of food and drink, or with regard to a festival or a new moon or a Sabbath. 17These are a shadow of the things to come, but the substance belongs to Christ. (Colossians 2:14-17). The laws consisting in ordinances, typifying Christ’s death was the one nailed on the cross, "by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace," (Ephesians 2:15). " 1For since the law has but a shadow of the good things to come instead of the true form of these realities, it can never, by the same sacrifices that are continually offered every year, make perfect those who draw near." (Hebrews 10:1).
"'The day will come,' says the Lord, 'when I will make a new covenant with the people of Israel and Judah. . . . But this is the new covenant I will make with the people of Israel on that day,' says the Lord. 'I will put my law in their minds, and I will write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people'" (Jeremiah 31:31, 33). Jesus Christ came to fulfill the law of Moses (Matthew 5:17) and create a new covenant between God and His people. The old covenant was written in stone, but the new covenant is written on our hearts, made possible only by faith in Christ, who shed His own blood to atone for the sins of the world. Luke 22:20 says, "After supper, [Jesus] took another cup of wine and said, 'This wine is the token of God's new covenant to save you – an agreement sealed with the blood I will pour out for you.'"... See More
Now that we are under the new covenant, we are not under the penalty of the law. We are now given the opportunity to receive salvation as a free gift (Ephesians 2:8-9 "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast."). Through the life-giving Holy Spirit who lives in all believers (Romans 8:9-11 "You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you"), we can now share in the inheritance of Christ and enjoy a permanent, unbroken relationship with God. Hebrews 9:15 declares, “Therefore he is the mediator of a new covenant, so that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance, since a death has occurred that redeems them from the transgressions committed under the first covenant."
So, no. The ceremonial laws established in the Old Testament, do not apply today, as Christ has established the New Covenant with His blood that was poured out on the Cross in order to cover the sins of God's children today.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Heaven
There are times in my life where I have been filled with the most intense, inexpressible joy. It is uncontainable; I overflow. It's as if it pours out of every pore of me, as there is not enough of me to hold it in. And the best part? God blessed me with that joy on earth. Can you imagine finally getting to Heaven; the joy that we will experience? If what I feel now, although only in moments, is indescribable- how much more will it be magnified by my Lord when I am finally there?!
And if those mere moments of intense, over flowing joy wasn't enough to excite us for Heaven, God has given us a glimpse of Heaven, found in the Bible.
Revelation 4
The Throne in Heaven
After this I looked, and behold, a door standing open in heaven! And the first voice, which I had heard speaking to me like a trumpet, said, "Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this." At once I was in the Spirit, and behold, a throne stood in heaven, with one seated on the throne. And he who sat there had the appearance of jasper and carnelian, and around the throne was a rainbow that had the appearance of an emerald. Around the throne were twenty-four thrones, and seated on the thrones were twenty-four elders, clothed in white garments, with golden crowns on their heads. From the throne came flashes of lightning, and rumblings and peals of thunder, and before the throne were burning seven torches of fire, which are the seven spirits of God, and before the throne there was as it were a sea of glass, like crystal.
And around the throne, on each side of the throne, are four living creatures, full of eyes in front and behind: the first living creature like a lion, the second living creature like an ox, the third living creature with the face of a man, and the fourth living creature like an eagle in flight. And the four living creatures, each of them with six wings, are full of eyes all around and within, and day and night they never cease to say,
"Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty,
who was and is and is to come!"
And whenever the living creatures give glory and honor and thanks to him who is seated on the throne, who lives forever and ever, the twenty-four elders fall down before him who is seated on the throne and worship him who lives forever and ever. They cast their crowns before the throne, saying,
"Worthy are you, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they existed and were created."
How wonderful will it be when we give glory and honor to God always. It will never cease and there will be no sin to interfere!
MARANATHA!
And if those mere moments of intense, over flowing joy wasn't enough to excite us for Heaven, God has given us a glimpse of Heaven, found in the Bible.
Revelation 4
The Throne in Heaven
After this I looked, and behold, a door standing open in heaven! And the first voice, which I had heard speaking to me like a trumpet, said, "Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this." At once I was in the Spirit, and behold, a throne stood in heaven, with one seated on the throne. And he who sat there had the appearance of jasper and carnelian, and around the throne was a rainbow that had the appearance of an emerald. Around the throne were twenty-four thrones, and seated on the thrones were twenty-four elders, clothed in white garments, with golden crowns on their heads. From the throne came flashes of lightning, and rumblings and peals of thunder, and before the throne were burning seven torches of fire, which are the seven spirits of God, and before the throne there was as it were a sea of glass, like crystal.
And around the throne, on each side of the throne, are four living creatures, full of eyes in front and behind: the first living creature like a lion, the second living creature like an ox, the third living creature with the face of a man, and the fourth living creature like an eagle in flight. And the four living creatures, each of them with six wings, are full of eyes all around and within, and day and night they never cease to say,
"Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty,
who was and is and is to come!"
And whenever the living creatures give glory and honor and thanks to him who is seated on the throne, who lives forever and ever, the twenty-four elders fall down before him who is seated on the throne and worship him who lives forever and ever. They cast their crowns before the throne, saying,
"Worthy are you, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they existed and were created."
How wonderful will it be when we give glory and honor to God always. It will never cease and there will be no sin to interfere!
MARANATHA!
Monday, January 16, 2012
Growth
I love the days God reveals more and more wisdom and understanding. I love seeing how He is moving in my life, how He is growing me- to have the confirmation that He is working in my life. To see how God has been working in my life and revealing His truths. Sometimes quickly, sometimes it's a process. To have wisdom, understanding, and discernment in things--in statements that were spoken to me over the past couple of years since coming to Christ. To have the ability and wisdom to see and know more and more the misleading and unbiblical statements that I at first believed because I was a newborn without the knowledge found in the Word, and trusting of the people proclaiming to follow Christ without using discernment to see if their lives matched up to His Word. I love days like this, where things click and I can see how God has protected me, guided me, and grown me to be more like Christ. Seeking Truth in His Word, instead of solely trusting others without further investigation.
Scriptures tells us that we should examine the Scriptures, and check them against the teachings of others. We should accept teaching that matches up with the Scripture, and correct the teaching of those whose teaching does not match up.
Acts 17:10-11 "The brothers immediately sent Paul and Silas away by night to Berea, and when they arrived they went into the Jewish synagogue. 11Now these Jews were more noble than those in Thessalonica; they received the word with all eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so." (emphasis mine).
Isaiah 34:16 "Seek and read from the book of the Lord:..."
John 5:39 "You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness about me ,"
Proverbs 9:8 "Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you."
2 Timothy 3:16-17 "All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, 17that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work." (emphasis mine)
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Grace
There is no way to fully convey the joy in my heart right now. The overwhelming feeling of love that is most definitely undeserved; especially when you add on the amazing blessings God bestows upon me each and everyday - even though I fail constantly.
As I said in a poem/song I wrote (that is probably not posted due to my insecurities & fears), God's grace absolutely and entirely astounds me. For Him to choose to have someone like me - to desire to have me - just blows my mind. I don't believe that we acknowledge this enough in our lives --- I know I don't. But talking and really thinking about it tonight pretty much blew my mind. To have the knowledge of who I was and see how He has moved in my life and changed me; to know the gospel and to know God and His perfectness and then reflect on the imperfectness of myself then and now - it is incomprehensible that He would choose a sinner like me. That He would grant to me salvation because He loves me; because He wants it. To think about the severity of John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life"- that God would give up His only Son - have Him tortured and crucified on the cross - have Him endure and suffer the wrath of God so that we may be shown grace to glorify Him. I don't know about you, but I know I don't always remember to acknowledge this. I don't always remember that everything I am today has been given to me because of God's grace and has been made possible because of the crucifixion of Jesus Christ long before I was born. As Christians we are nothing without Christ. We owe everything to God who planned everything from the beginning. We deserve death and yet He graciously gives us eternal life - and what do we do with that? Unfortunately, we don't always acknowledge Him in everything, although we should. We let the impact of His grace escape our minds while we indulge ourselves with things that are unimportant. God should be the center of everything. He comes first, because without Him we would be dead.
Eph 2 talks about being made alive in Christ... "As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. 4But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God 9not by works, so that no one can boast. 10For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."
It is all through God's grace, His ordination, His perfect plan that those of us who have received the gift of salvation have been saved. (That may have been slightly redundant.)
It's important to keep this in mind, keep it always in our heart and not lose sight of it. He has given me the greatest gift of all, it is my job now to ensure that I am constantly doing all things for His glory; that i never lose sight of this truth although the world will do it's best to try and knock me down. I cannot fully comprehend the enormity of His grace, the amount of love it entails is mind blowing. There is absolutely nothing on this earth that can compare to it. I’m not perfect, and there will be times when I completely fail at this; more times than I’d like to admit- BUT I know that Christ is with me, I know the Spirit will guide me; and when I get stubborn and start thinking that I can do this on my own – He’ll give me a reminder.
1 Corinthians 10:31 "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."
It's the least we can do.
As I said in a poem/song I wrote (that is probably not posted due to my insecurities & fears), God's grace absolutely and entirely astounds me. For Him to choose to have someone like me - to desire to have me - just blows my mind. I don't believe that we acknowledge this enough in our lives --- I know I don't. But talking and really thinking about it tonight pretty much blew my mind. To have the knowledge of who I was and see how He has moved in my life and changed me; to know the gospel and to know God and His perfectness and then reflect on the imperfectness of myself then and now - it is incomprehensible that He would choose a sinner like me. That He would grant to me salvation because He loves me; because He wants it. To think about the severity of John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life"- that God would give up His only Son - have Him tortured and crucified on the cross - have Him endure and suffer the wrath of God so that we may be shown grace to glorify Him. I don't know about you, but I know I don't always remember to acknowledge this. I don't always remember that everything I am today has been given to me because of God's grace and has been made possible because of the crucifixion of Jesus Christ long before I was born. As Christians we are nothing without Christ. We owe everything to God who planned everything from the beginning. We deserve death and yet He graciously gives us eternal life - and what do we do with that? Unfortunately, we don't always acknowledge Him in everything, although we should. We let the impact of His grace escape our minds while we indulge ourselves with things that are unimportant. God should be the center of everything. He comes first, because without Him we would be dead.
Eph 2 talks about being made alive in Christ... "As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. 4But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God 9not by works, so that no one can boast. 10For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."
It is all through God's grace, His ordination, His perfect plan that those of us who have received the gift of salvation have been saved. (That may have been slightly redundant.)
It's important to keep this in mind, keep it always in our heart and not lose sight of it. He has given me the greatest gift of all, it is my job now to ensure that I am constantly doing all things for His glory; that i never lose sight of this truth although the world will do it's best to try and knock me down. I cannot fully comprehend the enormity of His grace, the amount of love it entails is mind blowing. There is absolutely nothing on this earth that can compare to it. I’m not perfect, and there will be times when I completely fail at this; more times than I’d like to admit- BUT I know that Christ is with me, I know the Spirit will guide me; and when I get stubborn and start thinking that I can do this on my own – He’ll give me a reminder.
1 Corinthians 10:31 "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."
It's the least we can do.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
God's Timing, God's will
It is difficult to see something prayed about consistently appear to go unanswered - but that's just it- "appear". Just because it is unseen does not mean that God isn't working in the situation. Some things just take time, we have all learned that lesson in some way or another. It is difficult from the outside looking in, feeling utterly helpless and wanting to make things better - wanting it to not hurt anymore, but there is no doubt that it's much harder from the inside looking out. There is much we may hope for- things we can do to help, things to say, but in the end it all comes down to God and His timing. Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." Everything God has done is according to His plan, His purpose and His timing. Nothing can be done apart from God (John 15:5; Proverb 19:21), and nothing can be done before God wills it to be. God has also made men for His eternal purpose- each one designed to fulfill God's will, God’s glory, in some way – God’s will, not our own (Isaiah 43:7).
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
Friday, January 13, 2012
Inspiration?
This is another something that I wrote that got hidden in my documents folder - and as I read it now - I feel the same way as I did when I wrote it...and the poem at the end excited my heart.
Where did my inspiration to write so honestly from the heart go? where did the desire to pour my heart out on paper disappear to? I stumble upon old poems and writings from a time where I was so heart breakingly destroyed and am, surprisingly, filled with joy and wonderment at the evident truth, pain, and desire that just spilled out from my heart. I wonder, will it return? Or did it even leave at all? Have I just stopped tapping into that part of my heart? The part that overflows with raw emotion and an abundance of words to help get me through the rough patches? Or is it that I now have strong relationships with God, my church, my love, my family, my friends that I no longer feel this desire to be heard through paper and pen, since I now actually go to others for the support and help I need when the times arise? hmm...
Here is something I came across tonight while searching for my more scripture based poems/writings. Besides the pure emotion I can read this, the thing I absolutely love about it is that I remember the book I was reading- that one brilliant line- that inspired me to write this immediately...I couldn't even finish the paragraph I was reading at the time. It's a bit repetitive, but that's one of the things I like about it, as many of my poems don't seem to take that turn.
Sinful Eyes
who am i to judge my friend
and condemn him for his lies
when all along You knew it
we all see through sinful eyes
we pick apart the lives of others
not worrying who can see
but when it comes back to us
we just can't let it be
we hurt and break each other
shattered by life's ways
but we don't see ourselves
at the end of a long, hard day
would You be proud of how i acted
when i lashed out just last week
crying over nothing
and feeling rather meek
would You smile at my actions
or my private little thoughts
would You be proud of me today
when i forgot You call the shots
when my sister walked away
and my brother struck my face
i crumpled in the aisle
just filling with disgrace
i know the path i need to take
to continue on and live
but my pride gets in the way
and i need You to forgive
but oh how selfish am i
as i anxiously await the gift
for this feeling in my heart
i just can't seem to lift
so who am i to judge my friend
and condemn him for his lies
when all along You knew it
we all see through sinful eyes
we pick apart the lives of others
not worrying who can see
but when it comes back to us
we just can't let it be
we hurt and break each other
shattered by life's way
but we don't see ourselves
at the end of a long hard day
would You be proud of how i acted
when my friend did stab my back
or when my faith was questioned
i only showed them slack
when my heart was full and joyous
praise and glory You received
but when the trials hit me
i quickly became deceived
when my sister walked away
and my brother struck my face
i did not turn to You for help
instead i left Your grace
i want Your path of light again
to love with You and walk
i know that i have sinned
and i think we need to talk
so hear my prayer tonight, oh Lord
we're all broken from the start
but i need You here in my life
please enter into my heart
'cause i'm only human bound for death
to live a life encased in sin
but You have called me to Your name
my heart, yes, You did win
who am i to judge my friend
and condemn him for his lies
when all along You knew it
we all see through sinful eyes
help me to forgive the hurt
and all the enduring pain
for when i learn to do that
a new love i will gain
who am i to judge my friend
and condemn him for his lies
when all along You knew it
we all see through sinful eyes
Where did my inspiration to write so honestly from the heart go? where did the desire to pour my heart out on paper disappear to? I stumble upon old poems and writings from a time where I was so heart breakingly destroyed and am, surprisingly, filled with joy and wonderment at the evident truth, pain, and desire that just spilled out from my heart. I wonder, will it return? Or did it even leave at all? Have I just stopped tapping into that part of my heart? The part that overflows with raw emotion and an abundance of words to help get me through the rough patches? Or is it that I now have strong relationships with God, my church, my love, my family, my friends that I no longer feel this desire to be heard through paper and pen, since I now actually go to others for the support and help I need when the times arise? hmm...
Here is something I came across tonight while searching for my more scripture based poems/writings. Besides the pure emotion I can read this, the thing I absolutely love about it is that I remember the book I was reading- that one brilliant line- that inspired me to write this immediately...I couldn't even finish the paragraph I was reading at the time. It's a bit repetitive, but that's one of the things I like about it, as many of my poems don't seem to take that turn.
Sinful Eyes
who am i to judge my friend
and condemn him for his lies
when all along You knew it
we all see through sinful eyes
we pick apart the lives of others
not worrying who can see
but when it comes back to us
we just can't let it be
we hurt and break each other
shattered by life's ways
but we don't see ourselves
at the end of a long, hard day
would You be proud of how i acted
when i lashed out just last week
crying over nothing
and feeling rather meek
would You smile at my actions
or my private little thoughts
would You be proud of me today
when i forgot You call the shots
when my sister walked away
and my brother struck my face
i crumpled in the aisle
just filling with disgrace
i know the path i need to take
to continue on and live
but my pride gets in the way
and i need You to forgive
but oh how selfish am i
as i anxiously await the gift
for this feeling in my heart
i just can't seem to lift
so who am i to judge my friend
and condemn him for his lies
when all along You knew it
we all see through sinful eyes
we pick apart the lives of others
not worrying who can see
but when it comes back to us
we just can't let it be
we hurt and break each other
shattered by life's way
but we don't see ourselves
at the end of a long hard day
would You be proud of how i acted
when my friend did stab my back
or when my faith was questioned
i only showed them slack
when my heart was full and joyous
praise and glory You received
but when the trials hit me
i quickly became deceived
when my sister walked away
and my brother struck my face
i did not turn to You for help
instead i left Your grace
i want Your path of light again
to love with You and walk
i know that i have sinned
and i think we need to talk
so hear my prayer tonight, oh Lord
we're all broken from the start
but i need You here in my life
please enter into my heart
'cause i'm only human bound for death
to live a life encased in sin
but You have called me to Your name
my heart, yes, You did win
who am i to judge my friend
and condemn him for his lies
when all along You knew it
we all see through sinful eyes
help me to forgive the hurt
and all the enduring pain
for when i learn to do that
a new love i will gain
who am i to judge my friend
and condemn him for his lies
when all along You knew it
we all see through sinful eyes
On Modesty...
I can't presently sleep so I've decided to go through a bunch of old writings I have done in the past. The following was written June 10, 2010 - and while I could easily change a few things or go into detail about others, I'm leaving it exactly as it was written then.
I suppose I'll start this off with I usually wear layers - so when I ended up getting my outermost shirt pretty wet from a mishap with a sink today, it was pretty easy to just take that one off...I still had a mostly dry tank top underneath. All I had to do was wait till I got to Rite Aid to get the keys to the car that was carrying my luggage. I had already made the obvious decision that I needed something more than just my tank top, and that was affirmed in a quick exchange with a new and dear friend on the way to the car. Unknowingly, his quick affirmation set my mind to a million different places - the most dominant in regards to modest dress among women in today's society as well as glorifying God and preservation for a future husband (God willing), as well as a project of letters one of my good friends is working on.
I have come to the realization in regards to modesty with clothing, and for that I am eternally grateful to God and one of my friends. :)
Growing up in South Orange County, not in a Christian home, I learned very quickly that in our fallen, corrupt world clothing is not worn to cover nakedness, rather to push the limits on how much we can expose. I remember in 4th grade my teacher called a meeting with the girls of our class to discuss appropriate attire for elementary school - shirts that exposed the tummy and shorts or skirts that were shorter than your finger tips could reach were a.no-go. My friend Ry and I were the main violators that caused this talk... I don't think either of us wore long enough shirts or bottoms up until that time (and we tried to push the limits even after). What does this say about our society, that a talk about appropriate dress was required among 4th graders?!? Keep in mind, this was also during the time Clueless and the Spice Girls were majorly popular. Society teaches us at a young age (too young of an age) that in order for a female to be successful and considered beautiful they must resort to sex appeal, not intelligence, heart/who she really is. and so low self esteem and body image issues arise. Girls turn to Cosmo and eating disorders and, at times, dumbing themselves down. But does any of that quench our deeper thirst to know we are a part of something bigger? That we're significant and contributing positively to something much bigger than us? No.
The Bible teaches us what a woman's role is and how she should behave - this is nowhere near society's viewpoint of objectifying and degrading women.
Proverbs 31 describes a worthy woman. In verse 22 it tells us "she makes coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple." She is not dressed in something revealing or trashy, rather she is COVERED in FINE LINENS. She is rewarded for her efforts to honor God and others and is dressed in a manner that displays that honor. She is covered which is honoring to God, others and herself. In verse 25 it says, "strength and dignity are her clothing..." Would a strong and dignified woman in heart clothe her body in something undignified; iIn something that would provoke impure thoughts or cause others to look upon her with shame or disgust? No she wouldn't.
As a woman seeking sanctification, it is most important to destroy the world's view of how a woman should dress and act and focus on what is glorifying to God.
"Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31
Let's focus on the "whatever you do" part. Whether we eat, drink, dress, think, speak, act - whatever we do - everything we do-- we must do it in order to bring glory and honor to God, the King of the universe.
As John MacArthur put it, "Christian liberty, as well as the most common behavior, is to be conducted to the honor of God."
"'I will vindicate the holiness of My great name which has been profaned among the nations, which you have profaned in their midst. Then the nations will know that I am the Lord,' declares the Lord God,'when I prove Myself holy among you in their sight.'" Ezekial 36:23
I have come to the realization in regards to modesty with clothing, and for that I am eternally grateful to God and one of my friends. :)
Growing up in South Orange County, not in a Christian home, I learned very quickly that in our fallen, corrupt world clothing is not worn to cover nakedness, rather to push the limits on how much we can expose. I remember in 4th grade my teacher called a meeting with the girls of our class to discuss appropriate attire for elementary school - shirts that exposed the tummy and shorts or skirts that were shorter than your finger tips could reach were a.no-go. My friend Ry and I were the main violators that caused this talk... I don't think either of us wore long enough shirts or bottoms up until that time (and we tried to push the limits even after). What does this say about our society, that a talk about appropriate dress was required among 4th graders?!? Keep in mind, this was also during the time Clueless and the Spice Girls were majorly popular. Society teaches us at a young age (too young of an age) that in order for a female to be successful and considered beautiful they must resort to sex appeal, not intelligence, heart/who she really is. and so low self esteem and body image issues arise. Girls turn to Cosmo and eating disorders and, at times, dumbing themselves down. But does any of that quench our deeper thirst to know we are a part of something bigger? That we're significant and contributing positively to something much bigger than us? No.
The Bible teaches us what a woman's role is and how she should behave - this is nowhere near society's viewpoint of objectifying and degrading women.
Proverbs 31 describes a worthy woman. In verse 22 it tells us "she makes coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple." She is not dressed in something revealing or trashy, rather she is COVERED in FINE LINENS. She is rewarded for her efforts to honor God and others and is dressed in a manner that displays that honor. She is covered which is honoring to God, others and herself. In verse 25 it says, "strength and dignity are her clothing..." Would a strong and dignified woman in heart clothe her body in something undignified; iIn something that would provoke impure thoughts or cause others to look upon her with shame or disgust? No she wouldn't.
As a woman seeking sanctification, it is most important to destroy the world's view of how a woman should dress and act and focus on what is glorifying to God.
"Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31
Let's focus on the "whatever you do" part. Whether we eat, drink, dress, think, speak, act - whatever we do - everything we do-- we must do it in order to bring glory and honor to God, the King of the universe.
As John MacArthur put it, "Christian liberty, as well as the most common behavior, is to be conducted to the honor of God."
"'I will vindicate the holiness of My great name which has been profaned among the nations, which you have profaned in their midst. Then the nations will know that I am the Lord,' declares the Lord God,'when I prove Myself holy among you in their sight.'" Ezekial 36:23
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Unexpected
I love how God works in unexpected ways. As I was driving home from work today, I couldn't help but think of how I had planned my life years and years ago [because I'm so old now, you know? {that was totally a joke}.] and how He is guiding it now. I think at times I am reminded of all my old plans of grandeur and I miss it - but God is SO good; SO faithful; SO amazing; He knows what is best for me FAR better than I do and I am grateful. If I'm completely honest, and I will be, there are times when I get really sad about the fact that I am not where I thought I should be by now. If you asked me when I was 16 [the year before I gave my life to Christ], I had my life all planned out. Some way or another, I was going to go to college; I was going to be a writer or a poet or a teacher, all in the sense that the world defines those words. I was going to travel the globe; go mini golfing in EVERY state; have a degree; be completely independent; be successful [the way the world defines it]; own my own house, have a nicer car, etc. etc. etc. Little did I know [you know it's getting good when a writer says "Little did I know"...] Anyways, little did I know that God had something FAR better in mind for me and that it had started taking shape FAR earlier than I imagined. FAR FAR earlier. A year later I gave my life to Christ and He started moving me in BIG ways - even though I haven't always recognized it. If you go by my original plan, I am not where I thought I should be right now; but this life is FAR better than I had hoped for.
I didn't realize until today as I drove home that God has already fulfilled so many of my hopes and He has lovingly changed my heart on some and is re-defining some of the other. I went to college, I just didn't finish - because I couldn't afford it at the time and I think because I needed to learn and grow that a career and a degree would not make me successful. I've been an author since 5th grade, the first time I was published in a book that was sold in Barnes and Noble for a period of time; a poet since I was 12; the first time I had poem published in a book; and a teacher everyday I have the opportunity to talk with someone about anything - after all, I learn something new everyday and have the opportunity to share that with others whether or not I'm right or accurate or have the proper perspective; it's still teaching something, even if it's that I'm wrong. I haven't traveled the WHOLE globe, but I've been to at least 12 states and 1 other country- and that's at least PART of the globe. I've mini golfed in 9 or 10 of those states - so I'm getting there [it's TOTALLY doable if we put our work into it--hey, a girl can have a dream!]. I'm not completely independent, but God's plan is better and I'm completely dependent upon Him, without Him I couldn't do anything and I am grateful. I don't own a house yet, but I have a home and that's infinitely better. The car I currently own is FAR better than anything I've ever had before and I couldn't be more grateful for a functioning, non-death trap of a car. I'm not successful in the eyes of the world, but Christ is doing a good thing through me - even when I fail and that's success enough.
It's amazing to remember where I was when I was going along with my plan, and where I am now thanks to Him taking; and it hasn't been the easiest path - but it's been totally worth it. A couple years after I gave my life to Christ, as I struggled with my own sin, conviction, God's will and trying to figure out those who were genuine in my life from those who weren't God tested me in a way that still astounds me to this day. He grabbed my face with His hands and had me look into His eyes; had me hold His hands as He held me and asked me to trust Him with my everything I am[something I'm still working on] and He took me on a crazy ride. He stripped me down so bare that I had nothing else to cling to to cover myself up. He guided me to quit my job, an act of faith in that economy; He had circumstances happen in which I no longer had a car or a place to live or an income or a savings and He kept me there; showing me how I could trust Him daily to be faithful and give me my daily bread. I had nothing but Christ and that's more than enough. Within in months, He had provided for me a job, a car, a place to live, a church family, a husband [though I didn't know it at the time], a home. And this my friends, was exceedingly greater than anything I had planned for myself.
I do struggle from time to time about where my flesh thinks I should be and where God has me and I am thankful for those days because without them, I don't think I would realize how amazing where God has me RIGHT this very instant is. I don't know exactly what He's doing in my life, but I know He has it all under control - and even on my worst day now, it's far better than anything I ever could have planned for myself. My heart overflows with joy as I am humbled with the memory of where I was and where I am now. It is all through Christ that this happened; all glory goes to Him! My Lord, my Savior, my unexpected life. He has fulfilled so many of my hopes and dreams, I was just too stuck with the world's definitions to see them. God has blessed me abundantly - I owe everything I am and everything I have to Him.
Lord, thank you for blessing me with a husband and a family unimaginably more wonderful than I ever could have dreamed; a joy and a peace so indescribable; a life I don't deserve and an eternity with you that I don't deserve, but that you've given me through Christ's sacrifice and blood on the Cross! All to you I owe everything!
"I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:12-13
**I don't think I ever adequately convey exactly what I'm feeling, but I hope that the Spirit allows anyone who is reading this to only see the parts He wants you to see. Have a wonderfully joyful day in the Lord!
I didn't realize until today as I drove home that God has already fulfilled so many of my hopes and He has lovingly changed my heart on some and is re-defining some of the other. I went to college, I just didn't finish - because I couldn't afford it at the time and I think because I needed to learn and grow that a career and a degree would not make me successful. I've been an author since 5th grade, the first time I was published in a book that was sold in Barnes and Noble for a period of time; a poet since I was 12; the first time I had poem published in a book; and a teacher everyday I have the opportunity to talk with someone about anything - after all, I learn something new everyday and have the opportunity to share that with others whether or not I'm right or accurate or have the proper perspective; it's still teaching something, even if it's that I'm wrong. I haven't traveled the WHOLE globe, but I've been to at least 12 states and 1 other country- and that's at least PART of the globe. I've mini golfed in 9 or 10 of those states - so I'm getting there [it's TOTALLY doable if we put our work into it--hey, a girl can have a dream!]. I'm not completely independent, but God's plan is better and I'm completely dependent upon Him, without Him I couldn't do anything and I am grateful. I don't own a house yet, but I have a home and that's infinitely better. The car I currently own is FAR better than anything I've ever had before and I couldn't be more grateful for a functioning, non-death trap of a car. I'm not successful in the eyes of the world, but Christ is doing a good thing through me - even when I fail and that's success enough.
It's amazing to remember where I was when I was going along with my plan, and where I am now thanks to Him taking; and it hasn't been the easiest path - but it's been totally worth it. A couple years after I gave my life to Christ, as I struggled with my own sin, conviction, God's will and trying to figure out those who were genuine in my life from those who weren't God tested me in a way that still astounds me to this day. He grabbed my face with His hands and had me look into His eyes; had me hold His hands as He held me and asked me to trust Him with my everything I am[something I'm still working on] and He took me on a crazy ride. He stripped me down so bare that I had nothing else to cling to to cover myself up. He guided me to quit my job, an act of faith in that economy; He had circumstances happen in which I no longer had a car or a place to live or an income or a savings and He kept me there; showing me how I could trust Him daily to be faithful and give me my daily bread. I had nothing but Christ and that's more than enough. Within in months, He had provided for me a job, a car, a place to live, a church family, a husband [though I didn't know it at the time], a home. And this my friends, was exceedingly greater than anything I had planned for myself.
I do struggle from time to time about where my flesh thinks I should be and where God has me and I am thankful for those days because without them, I don't think I would realize how amazing where God has me RIGHT this very instant is. I don't know exactly what He's doing in my life, but I know He has it all under control - and even on my worst day now, it's far better than anything I ever could have planned for myself. My heart overflows with joy as I am humbled with the memory of where I was and where I am now. It is all through Christ that this happened; all glory goes to Him! My Lord, my Savior, my unexpected life. He has fulfilled so many of my hopes and dreams, I was just too stuck with the world's definitions to see them. God has blessed me abundantly - I owe everything I am and everything I have to Him.
Lord, thank you for blessing me with a husband and a family unimaginably more wonderful than I ever could have dreamed; a joy and a peace so indescribable; a life I don't deserve and an eternity with you that I don't deserve, but that you've given me through Christ's sacrifice and blood on the Cross! All to you I owe everything!
"I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:12-13
**I don't think I ever adequately convey exactly what I'm feeling, but I hope that the Spirit allows anyone who is reading this to only see the parts He wants you to see. Have a wonderfully joyful day in the Lord!
Saturday, January 7, 2012
On church...
I was recently involved in a conversation regarding different churches and life stages and it was suggested to that someone switch what church they were going to because it appears as though they aren't in the same life stage as the majority of the present church. It really surprised me, but I know a handful of other people who have experienced similar suggestions, and I felt the need to address it.
Firstly, the benefits of attending a church with more people in your life stage. On the one hand, it may seem that there are more people who can relate to you which is good and more people to offer support because they are in the same phase of life, which is also a very good thing. Off the top of my head and those who I discussed this subject with and specifically the benefits of it, couldn't come up with anything other than those. Though, I'm sure there are more - so please feel free to leave comments of more benefits. :)
The main issues that we came up with with leaving a church with less people in your life stage and going to a church with more is that you are saying that a certain life stage is not necessarily as welcomed as another as well as creating a completely flat group of people (no diversity), which goes against what a church is. The church is the body of Christ and a body is not made up of only hands or feet or ears - but of many different parts - one body with many members.
"For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many are one body, so it is with Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body - Jews or Greeks, slaves or free - and all were made to drink of one Spirit. For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, 'Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,' that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, 'Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,' that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? But as it is, God arranged the members in th ebody, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, 'I have no need of you,' nor again the head to the feet ,'I have no need of you.' On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. Now, you are the body of Christ and individually members of it. And God has appointed in the church first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, helping, administrating, and various kinds of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? Do all possess gifts of healing? Do all speak with tongues? Do all interpret?" 1 Corinthians 12:12-30
Based off of this passage, I believe that if we segregate our churchs into any other likeness than being followers, say one church has only teenagers, one church has only college kids, one chuch are only singles, one church are only marrieds, and so on, we lose what the church is meant to be. The church is meant to have people of all different kinds. If we're all of one exact type, who will be there to build us up when we're struggling? Who will be there when we're all weak to the same thing? Where would the people be who have experience with life we haven't encountered yet to help us through when we do encounter them? Where would be the diversity of the members that is described in the Bible; God's Word? I believe it is incredibly important to have people in your life in your same life stage, but I also believe that it is equally important to have people in your life that are not yet in your life stage OR already through your life stage.
Firstly, the benefits of attending a church with more people in your life stage. On the one hand, it may seem that there are more people who can relate to you which is good and more people to offer support because they are in the same phase of life, which is also a very good thing. Off the top of my head and those who I discussed this subject with and specifically the benefits of it, couldn't come up with anything other than those. Though, I'm sure there are more - so please feel free to leave comments of more benefits. :)
The main issues that we came up with with leaving a church with less people in your life stage and going to a church with more is that you are saying that a certain life stage is not necessarily as welcomed as another as well as creating a completely flat group of people (no diversity), which goes against what a church is. The church is the body of Christ and a body is not made up of only hands or feet or ears - but of many different parts - one body with many members.
"For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many are one body, so it is with Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body - Jews or Greeks, slaves or free - and all were made to drink of one Spirit. For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, 'Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,' that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, 'Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,' that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? But as it is, God arranged the members in th ebody, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, 'I have no need of you,' nor again the head to the feet ,'I have no need of you.' On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. Now, you are the body of Christ and individually members of it. And God has appointed in the church first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, helping, administrating, and various kinds of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? Do all possess gifts of healing? Do all speak with tongues? Do all interpret?" 1 Corinthians 12:12-30
Based off of this passage, I believe that if we segregate our churchs into any other likeness than being followers, say one church has only teenagers, one church has only college kids, one chuch are only singles, one church are only marrieds, and so on, we lose what the church is meant to be. The church is meant to have people of all different kinds. If we're all of one exact type, who will be there to build us up when we're struggling? Who will be there when we're all weak to the same thing? Where would the people be who have experience with life we haven't encountered yet to help us through when we do encounter them? Where would be the diversity of the members that is described in the Bible; God's Word? I believe it is incredibly important to have people in your life in your same life stage, but I also believe that it is equally important to have people in your life that are not yet in your life stage OR already through your life stage.
Friday, January 6, 2012
PT!
I started Physical Therapy today to help speed the process of healing from the accident. My Physical Therapist amazed me. I think she's magical. She could just touch my back and tell me every single place I've been having back spasms - which, I would think was possible if I had actually been having back spasms at the time, but I wasn't. So the good news is that it's started, I got a nice massage (which was more painful than anything else) and got a list of a total of 2 approved exercises and 1 approved stretch to do daily. The not so good news is that I apparently have no muscular mobility in my back because my muscles are so tight they're blocking everything from being able to move. Apparently all my back movements are a result of my hips or my arms moving and not actually my back. But, we're gonna fix that. I'm glad to have started because I know that it will help get rid of the pain I've had since the accident, but man it hurts!
So here's to a new year, physical therapy and the optimism that the pain will be gone in (or significantly less) in 3-4 weeks!
So here's to a new year, physical therapy and the optimism that the pain will be gone in (or significantly less) in 3-4 weeks!
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
We're going on a hunt....
Today has been spent pretty much apartment and house hunting, in which I discovered that if something is described as charming, they do not mean the fairy tale, enchanted castle kind of charming. They're use of charming isn't really charming at all. In fact, by charming they really mean old, rickety, falling apart, dirty, and probably infested with some sort of bug. You don't want to live there. And so the hunt continues.
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