Inspiration?

This is another something that I wrote that got hidden in my documents folder - and as I read it now - I feel the same way as I did when I wrote it...and the poem at the end excited my heart.


Where did my inspiration to write so honestly from the heart go? where did the desire to pour my heart out on paper disappear to? I stumble upon old poems and writings from a time where I was so heart breakingly destroyed and am, surprisingly, filled with joy and wonderment at the evident truth, pain, and desire that just spilled out from my heart. I wonder, will it return? Or did it even leave at all? Have I just stopped tapping into that part of my heart? The part that overflows with raw emotion and an abundance of words to help get me through the rough patches? Or is it that I now have strong relationships with God, my church, my love, my family, my friends that I no longer feel this desire to be heard through paper and pen, since I now actually go to others for the support and help I need when the times arise? hmm...

Here is something I came across tonight while searching for my more scripture based poems/writings. Besides the pure emotion I can read this, the thing I absolutely love about it is that I remember the book I was reading- that one brilliant line- that inspired me to write this immediately...I couldn't even finish the paragraph I was reading at the time. It's a bit repetitive, but that's one of the things I like about it, as many of my poems don't seem to take that turn.

Sinful Eyes
who am i to judge my friend
and condemn him for his lies
when all along You knew it
we all see through sinful eyes
we pick apart the lives of others
not worrying who can see
but when it comes back to us
we just can't let it be
we hurt and break each other
shattered by life's ways
but we don't see ourselves
at the end of a long, hard day

would You be proud of how i acted
when i lashed out just last week
crying over nothing
and feeling rather meek
would You smile at my actions
or my private little thoughts
would You be proud of me today
when i forgot You call the shots

when my sister walked away
and my brother struck my face
i crumpled in the aisle
just filling with disgrace
i know the path i need to take
to continue on and live
but my pride gets in the way
and i need You to forgive
but oh how selfish am i
as i anxiously await the gift
for this feeling in my heart
i just can't seem to lift

so who am i to judge my friend
and condemn him for his lies
when all along You knew it
we all see through sinful eyes
we pick apart the lives of others
not worrying who can see
but when it comes back to us
we just can't let it be
we hurt and break each other
shattered by life's way
but we don't see ourselves
at the end of a long hard day


would You be proud of how i acted
when my friend did stab my back
or when my faith was questioned
i only showed them slack
when my heart was full and joyous
praise and glory You received
but when the trials hit me
i quickly became deceived

when my sister walked away
and my brother struck my face
i did not turn to You for help
instead i left Your grace
i want Your path of light again
to love with You and walk
i know that i have sinned
and i think we need to talk
so hear my prayer tonight, oh Lord
we're all broken from the start
but i need You here in my life
please enter into my heart
'cause i'm only human bound for death
to live a life encased in sin
but You have called me to Your name
my heart, yes, You did win


who am i to judge my friend
and condemn him for his lies
when all along You knew it
we all see through sinful eyes
help me to forgive the hurt
and all the enduring pain
for when i learn to do that
a new love i will gain
who am i to judge my friend
and condemn him for his lies
when all along You knew it
we all see through sinful eyes