Unexpected

     I love how God works in unexpected ways. As I was driving home from work today, I couldn't help but think of how I had planned my life years and years ago [because I'm so old now, you know? {that was totally a joke}.] and how He is guiding it now. I think at times I am reminded of all my old plans of grandeur and I miss it - but God is SO good; SO faithful; SO amazing; He knows what is best for me FAR better than I do and I am grateful. If I'm completely honest, and I will be, there are times when I get really sad about the fact that I am not where I thought I should be by now. If you asked me when I was 16 [the year before I gave my life to Christ], I had my life all planned out. Some way or another, I was going to go to college; I was going to be a writer or a poet or a teacher, all in the sense that the world defines those words. I was going to travel the globe; go mini golfing in EVERY state; have a degree; be completely independent; be successful [the way the world defines it]; own my own house, have a nicer car, etc. etc. etc. Little did I know [you know it's getting good when a writer says "Little did I know"...] Anyways, little did I know that God had something FAR better in mind for me and that it had started taking shape FAR earlier than I imagined. FAR FAR earlier. A year later I gave my life to Christ and He started moving me in BIG ways - even though I haven't always recognized it.  If you go by my original plan, I am not where I thought I should be right now; but this life is FAR better than I had hoped for.
     I didn't realize until today as I drove home that God has already fulfilled so many of my hopes and He has lovingly changed my heart on some and is re-defining some of the other. I went to college, I just didn't finish - because I couldn't afford it at the time and I think because I needed to learn and grow that a career and a degree would not make me successful. I've been an author since 5th grade, the first time I was published in a book that was sold in Barnes and Noble for a period of time; a poet since I was 12; the first time I had poem published in a book; and a teacher everyday I have the opportunity to talk with someone about anything - after all, I learn something new everyday and have the opportunity to share that with others whether or not I'm right or accurate or have the proper perspective; it's still teaching something, even if it's that I'm wrong. I haven't traveled the WHOLE globe, but I've been to at least 12 states and 1 other country- and that's at least PART of the globe. I've mini golfed in 9 or 10 of those states - so I'm getting there [it's TOTALLY doable if we put our work into it--hey, a girl can have a dream!]. I'm not completely independent, but God's plan is better and I'm completely dependent upon Him, without Him I couldn't do anything and I am grateful. I don't own a house yet, but I have a home and that's infinitely better. The car I currently own is FAR better than anything I've ever had before and I couldn't be more grateful for a functioning, non-death trap of a car. I'm not successful in the eyes of the world, but Christ is doing a good thing through me - even when I fail and that's success enough.
     It's amazing to remember where I was when I was going along with my plan, and where I am now thanks to Him taking; and it hasn't been the easiest path - but it's been totally worth it. A couple years after I gave my life to Christ, as I struggled with my own sin, conviction, God's will and trying to figure out those who were genuine in my life from those who weren't God tested me in  a way that still astounds me to this day. He grabbed my face with His hands and had me look into His eyes; had me hold His hands as He held me and asked me to trust Him with my everything I am[something I'm still working on] and He took me on a crazy ride. He stripped me down so bare that I had nothing else to cling to to cover myself up. He guided me to quit my job, an act of faith in that economy; He had circumstances happen in which I no longer had a car or a place to live or an income or a savings and He kept me there; showing me how I could trust Him daily to be faithful and give me my daily bread. I had nothing but Christ and that's more than enough. Within in months, He had provided for me a job, a car, a place to live, a church family, a husband [though I didn't know it at the time], a home. And this my friends, was exceedingly greater than anything I had planned for myself.
     I do struggle from time to time about where my flesh thinks I should be and where God has me and I am thankful for those days because without them, I don't think I would realize how amazing where God has me RIGHT this very instant is. I don't know exactly what He's doing in my life, but I know He has it all under control - and even on my worst day now, it's far better than anything I ever could have planned for myself. My heart overflows with joy as I am humbled with the memory of where I was and where I am now. It is all through Christ that this happened; all glory goes to Him! My Lord, my Savior, my unexpected life. He has fulfilled so many of my hopes and dreams, I was just too stuck with the world's definitions to see them. God has blessed me abundantly - I owe everything I am and everything I have to Him.
     Lord, thank you for blessing me with a husband and a family unimaginably more wonderful than I ever could have dreamed; a joy and a peace so indescribable; a life I don't deserve and an eternity with you that I don't deserve, but that you've given me through Christ's sacrifice and blood on the Cross! All to you I owe everything!

"I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. ¹³ I can do all things through him who strengthens me."  Philippians 4:12-13

**I don't think I ever adequately convey exactly what I'm feeling, but I hope that the Spirit allows anyone who is reading this to only see the parts He wants you to see. Have a wonderfully joyful day in the Lord!