God's Lessons

God is teaching me a lot about myself since coming to Arizona. I'm learning that I doubt myself a lot, but that there is no reason to because I am fully and completley, 100%, without a doubt accepted by God because of Christ Jesus. I'm learning that I'm a lot more willing that I thought I was. I'm learning that I'm a lot more sure of myself than I thought I was, though I still have moments of doubt. I'm learning that no matter what life does, I trust God in all things - but this is the most complicated thing, though it should be most simple.
There is a particular heart burden than I have, though I know where it comes from, I can't help but feel it on my heart pretty much daily for the past few years. It's a touchy thing, but in my most rational moments I am completely ok. I'm completely trusting. I'm completely patient. I'm completely content. I'm completely blessed. I am so thankful for this burden, but at the same time it tends towards heart break. And it is with burdens like these that I am SO SO SO thankful for the promises God gives us, for His Word and the free access I have to it, for His salvation that comes through Christ Jesus - who became sin, though He knew no sin to be crushed and crucified because of my wretched sins so that He could defeat death by being resurrected, so that I could have the great blessing of eternal life, for verses like Romans 8:18 just because it has always comforted my soul, for godly examples of people in my life, and for music like Laura Story's "Blessings"....

"We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise"